Trusting your gut

Too many times I’ve pushed myself when there was no need to push.

All for what?

In vain.

We’re taught that hard work is important and you have to work for what you want.

But let’s not forget to listen to our hearts.

I feel more productive when I give myself a break. Today I made an imporant phone call a day late. I didn’t mind because that was the right time for me. Turns out the person I had to speak to wasn’t even ready to speak to me yet.

You see how your body knows before your head does?

Let’s think less and trust more.

Take your time and live your live how you choose… That’s your creative expression.

Let’s not forget how precious life is.

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Where Happiness Comes From

They say happiness is a choice. Sometimes it’s easy to be happy; when everything’s going your way and things are physically making you smile.

Have you ever had a day where it’s tough to feel happy? Silly question. Please don’t compare yourself to other people that feel happy all the time. 1. They’re probably not. 2. Don’t believe everything you see on social media. 3. Those who feel a wider range of emotions are more receptive and emotionally intelligent.

Don’t let this stream of superficiality bog you down. Embrace your emotions and glide with them. True happiness comes from a choice you make within yourself. I guess on those days when you’re not feeling on the bright side of life, if you can manage contentment, you’re doing an okay job.

Did you ever think about how flowers become flowers? They must be buried in the ground, in complete darkness in order to sprout. Next time you pass a beautiful flower, think about all that she’s been through to be so beautiful and smell so good.

Don’t drown in your bad days. They’re just temporary, as is everything. Trouble is that the society we live in capitalises on our insecurities. Everything we work towards is to gain success in a physical/materialistic form. That could be working towards a holiday, a car, a new dress, a night out. Everything is material, to make money and keep the game going.

It’s no wonder that there’s a mental health epidemic. People don’t know how to deal with complex feelings like anxiety and depression because we’re made to feel like it’s not normal to have such feelings. People turn to shopping or drugs etc to run from these feelings; but you’ll never escape yourself.

I’m all for having nice things in lif, but they don’t make me who I am or add value to my person. They just express something about me. It’s important that we focus internally for strength and fulfilment.

I’ve seen that bleakness in people who put money and material things above everything else. To me, they’re the biggest losers, because real life is in the connection that we make with people and in those moments of giving. Sure, money can help us have a good time, there’s no doubt about it, but if you haven’t got the foundation of your internal Self, then you haven’t got anything.

Sociopathic individuals who are only out for themselves have probably been spoilt all their lives. In this sense they just don’t know the difference. The silver spoon has made them complacent. They’ve never had to graft and therefore they’ve never met situations in life that open them up to people or experiences that could have added a layer to their character. These people are blocked.

This is why I’m telling you that it’s good to have a range of feelings. Even though they take you high and low, up and down, it’s all worth it. You are alive and kicking. Embracing these feelings and powering on, sticking at your graft, they are building your resilience.

I felt like I had literally lost my will while I was in work recently. I felt demotivated, exhausted and even when my manager tried to mend the situation and give me opportunities, I still felt unable to step up. I was blocked. Then like an angel from above, a regular (customer) asked me how I was… we talked about the situation and he had a huge impact on my attitude. In so many words he said that nothing is permanent in life but everything is right now. The situation you’re in is the situation you’re in right now, so take whatever you can from it. His words exactly were, ‘these experiences will physically change you’. It clicked for me then. The only way out of pain is through it. The only way you’re going to get past where you are is by breaking through whatever is holding you back and that requires resilience and determination.

(This regular of mine is now called ‘Good Vibes Steves’,  amongst me and my friends; and I am hereby honouring his wisdom. If you’re reading Steve, thank you very much. 😊)

Resilience is exactly what you need to stay happy…or just, not sad.

Because it’s OK not to feel happy!!

Just let it pass. Focus on other things. You may be feeling unhappy because you’ve spent too much head space thinking about an issue in your life. The more you think about a problem, the more energy you give to it and the more prominent it is in your life.

Help someone. The best way to feel good is help somebody else. And to really mean it, from your heart.

Spend time with loved ones and just pay attention to them.

Happiness is a choice within you; your most prized possession. Everyone has hard times and I’m not disregarding them or pushing a constantly positive attitude – that wouldn’t be healthy. But if you can have a presence of this awareness within yourself that emotions come in different shapes and sizes and come and go… You will feel stronger, more resilient and thereby more equipped to take what you want from life.

It’s a short life after all.

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so, smile, it won’t hurt you

 

 

Surviving and Flourishing in Today’s World

Day to day life can be a bit of a jungle for most of us. With a constant buzz of stimuli, it can be hard to remain grounded or aligned with our true selves. So many factors push and pull us, it’s no wonder there is a mental health epidemic. I’ve had a ponder, and here are some points that helped me to get myself together.

  1. Stop questioning yourself

You know yourself and you know what feels right. It may sound queer if you haven’t come across the concept before, but your mind isn’t actually YOU, it’s more like an annoying sibling that gets kicks from winding you up. Point is, if you think about something for long enough you will achieve nothing. So, less thinking and more doing. Trusting your intuition is a skill that is strenghtened the more you practice it. Your mind can lead you astray, if you let it.

  1. No more comparisons

I make the silly error of giving myself shit for not achieving things that others in my field and of my age have. I’m hard on myself, not giving myself credit that I have done very well to get to where I am given my ‘disadvantaged’ position. I highlight this ‘disadvantaged’ because everything is relative. I may have been disadvantaged compared to those in my field, but to others, I am extremely advantaged. Remember we all come from different walks of life and that’s what makes it interesting. Reward yourself for your success, if not, nobody else will.

So, yeah, hello, there’s a little story called YOUR story, which is different from anybody else’s story. The sooner we learn to embrace our individuality, the sooner we will flourish. Your difference and unique being is the best you can offer the world. It’s the only thing you’ve got that nobody else has. DON’T BE LIKE THEM. BE LIKE YOU.

  1. Understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day

Sure, you’ve got ambition and dreams but don’t be disheartened if things don’t fall into place tomorrow. Anything worth having is worth fighting for (did I just quote Cheryl Cole?). The more time you spend dwelling on how nothing is happening, the more time it’s gonna take for it to HAPPEN. So, get your head in the game. I find making notes in my diary (schedule) each week helps me to maintain focus. I know what I want to achieve week to week. Having a record like this is also good for encouragement – perhaps in times of despair you can look back and have a reality check; hey, you’re not doing so bad after all!

  1. Don’t give in to negative thinking

Life is what you make it. Don’t be a victim and start believing the negative talk and labels. Only you can create the life you want. Get up and do something about it. There will be dark days and there will be bright days, but it’s your perseverance that will need to be the consistent factor.

I, myself, am an extremely conscientious and sensitive character. I just can’t help but be highly affected by other people, even just bumping into people on the street I can feel overwhelmed. This is something that I struggle with on a personal level. I could conduct a psychoanalysis as to why I feel like this and draw conclusions on unhealthy factors of my upbringing that have contributed to this self-consciousness. But why would I dwell on the things that are out of my control? I don’t want to be tied up in that dark world. I want to be the being I truly am and let my light shine through.  I do not let these overwhelming feelings stop me going from going for what I want. My message to you is don’t be stuck in a victim mentality or think that the world owes you something, because believe me, you’ll be waiting a long time for handouts. I’m now going to quote a very wise person I have had the blessing to meet, ‘the Universe is generous, if you are’. The more you put out, the more you get. Sometimes it might feel like it’s taking a long ass mother-f******* time, but good things come to those who persevere.

  1. Don’t Believe the Hype

Be a OG and f**k what people think. If you follow the herd you need to retrace your steps asap and find where YOUR path leads to. The world will always try to dictate to you how to live your life, but do you know what will ground you? YOUR outlook, your experience of life and your story. Be grounded in knowing that you own your sh**. Make your life a noble one and make it count. Stop using your social media accounts as a form of seeking gratification through approval of others. You weren’t born to prove anything to anybody. Invest in yourself and care about what you think of yourself. You don’t have to follow trends to be relevant in this world. If anything, mindlessly following the crowd because of sensationalism and the fear of not fitting in, only dilutes your presence in this world. You owe it to yourself to be free.

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Above all, keep it real, be happy and go on road trips like these gals